For the "s" in brackets, we decided to do it in a hand drawn font as it follows along with the story of the producers of the documentary not knowing there were going to be more than 1 person named dave in their interview. This adds a sense of comedy as it shows audiences that they were unprepared and had to add the details in back later. For the color choice, we decided to have it be drawn in red as we wanted it to stand out compared to the rest of the title. Also, it is a common convention in the media world to have annotations/changes to a script or text be written by using a red pen. Since the S in brackets is a revision to the title, writing it in red pen would make the most sense and follow conventions of the media industry.
Screenplay Development (Original Draft):
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
TIMO and MAXI argue about the candidates chosen for their interview, while they are secretly being recorded by another crew member.
TIMO
What do you mean you got 6 people??? There's literally only 1 name on the list!
MAXI
(CONFUSED)
Huh? What are you talking about? I told you I got 6 people. They're literally all here waiting right now!
TIMO
Then why the hell is there only 1 name on the list.
MAXI
Give me that!
Maxi GRABS the paper from Timo's hands
MAXI
What? Damnit Nay must've forgotten to add their names from the form! Alright c'mon just follow me, I'll show you myself.
Timo PICKS UP his CAMERA and follows Maxi.
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY / CLASSROOM - DAY
Timo and Maxi hastily walk towards the room the interviewees are waiting. Maxi opens the door roughly and yells.
MAXI
VOILA! Told you so. Alright, now which one of you here is...
(CHECKS PAPER)
Dave?
While Maxi looks up from the paper we follow his gaze to reveal:
6 DIFFERENT people STANDING UP in unison as they look around in a daze. They all share the same name; Dave. The 6 Dave's are as follows; Muscle Dave, Crypto Dave, Creepy Dave, Happy Dave, and Player Dave.
The Daves look around IN CONFUSION as we:
CUT TO:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY
ROLL MONTAGE of DAVE'S sitting down in their interview chairs.
MAXI (O.S.)
Could you please state your name for the camera?
DAVE'S
(SIMULTANEOUSLY)
Hi, Im Dave.
We PAUSE, after the final dave answers, as we:
CUT TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY
MUSCLE DAVE walks in from the side and SITS DOWN on the interview chair. Timo asks the Dave's about what happened on their first day of school.
MUSCLE DAVE
(FIDDLES AROUND WITH MICROPHONE)
TIMO (O.S.)
Could you please tell us how your first day of school was?
MUSCLE DAVE
(ENTHUSIASTICALLY)
Yeah man it was crazy! My family moves around a lot, so first days of school are no big deal really. And since my names Dave Aardvark, I'm always first name on the list. So my teacher called "Dave Aardvark", and I said "Present!"
CUT TO:
CRYPTO DAVE
And I thought "Woah!" Another dave in the class! So guess I've got 1 friend already.
CUT TO:
PLAYER DAVE
Yeah so by the end of it we had 6 new Dave's in our class! It ended up being so confusing that the class had to give us all nicknames to differentiate between us.
TIMO (O.S.)
So what's the nickname you were given?
CUT TO:
MUSCLE DAVE
(STARES INTO CAMERA, RAISES EYEBROW)
Isn't it obvious?
(FLEXES MUSCLES, WHILE NODDING HEAD)
Muscle Dave.
CUT TO:
ANY DAVE
He's really not that muscly.
CUT TO:
HAPPY DAVE
Well they called me Happy Dave! Its probably cuz I just get along everyone! We became friends like instantly, I love all the Daves!
CUT TO:
PICTURE of Happy Dave's selfie. Happy Dave is posing and joyful, while all the other Daves are visibly disgusted.
CUT TO:
ANY DAVE
We're not friends.
CUT TO:
CRYPTO DAVE
Honestly I don't know why they call me crypto Dave. Like I don't even talk about crypto that much.
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL BUILDING - DAY
MONTAGE of Crypto Dave's crypto enthusiasm
--Crypto Dave goes up to multiple people in an attempt to introduce a brand new CRYPTO APP he just got to multiple people.
--Walks up to one person while pointing at his phone, they walk away.
--Asks his friends as they sit at lunch if they've ever heard of "Dogecoin".
--While on his laptop, he calls people to come and look at the exponential growth of a crypto coin.
--More shots can be added if needed.
MONTAGE END
CUT TO:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY
PLAYER DAVE
(LAUGHS)
I think everyones just jealous honestly. With my looks and everything I could literally get any girl I want, so they just call me a
(DOES AIR QUOTES MOTION)
"player".
TIMO (O.S.)
Would you care to tell us about what how the girls in your class think about you?
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL BUILDING - DAY
MONTAGE of Player Dave attempting to flirt with girls.
--Player Dave goes up to multiple girls in the hallways, in his classroom, etc, as they all brush him off and walk away.
--Player Dave walks up to a girl at her locker, she walks away.
--Player Dave Waves to a girl in the hallway, she gives him a weird look.
--Player Dave tries to sit next to a girl, she scooches over.
Player Dave's voice accompanies the clip as a voice over.
PLAYER DAVE (V.O.)
(CONFIDENTLY)
Yeah the girls love me man! Every single girl i talk to literally can't even resist me. I think I just have this sort of aura that they're just attracted to. You wouldn't get it.
MONTAGE END
CUT TO:
INT. INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY
SOFTBOY DAVE sits in his interview chair wearing a CARDIGAN as he listens to music with his AIRPODS in, unbothered by the fact that he's currently in an interview. Much to the confusion of the interviewer.
TIMO (O.S.)
(CONFUSED)
Hello? Excuse me?
Softboy Dave slowly looks up and takes his airpods out.
SOFTBOY DAVE
(NERVOUSLY)
Oh sorry, didn't know we were starting.
TIMO (O.S)
What were you listening to?
SOFTBOY DAVE
Uhm, Wave to Earth.
TIMO (O.S.)
Right. Would you mind sharing your most used social media app?
SOFTBOY DAVE
Let me check...
(CHECKS PHONE, LOOKS BACK UP)
Pinterest.
CUT TO:
TIMO (O.S.)
So, we've been told they call you Quiet Dave.
QUIET DAVE
(STARES BLANKLY INTO THE CAMERA)
...
TIMO (O.S.)
Alright.
CUT TO:
MONTAGE OF DAVES.
--Cut between 2-3 second shots of the Daves in their interviews
--Goes from Dave 1, to Dave 2, etc, until done.
--Montage is accompanied by voiceover by Muscle Dave and Timo.
MUSCLE DAVE (V.O.)
Well when you have so many different clashing personalities in a single group, things are bound to get a little wild y'know.
TIMO (V.O.)
So then what happens next?
MONTAGE ENDS (When Timo says the final line), when we:
CUT TO BLACK.
BLACK SCREEN
SUPER: "Dave(s)"
Screenplay Revisions:
During the filming process, some lines were added and changed. This was done as some lines felt a bit unnatural to be said by the actors, and we decided that it'd be better to add lines, and edit them a bit. We also decided to scrap the character of Crypto Dave as a whole and instead replaced him with "Not Dave", a character who isn't called Dave but was a new student on the day so was grouped in together with them anyways. We decided to do this because we believe that it would add more comedic effect than if we included Crypto Dave as the team believed his scenes would be quite boring and repetitive. We believe including a character thats not called Dave would diversify the story even more and create a more unique story.
Here is the main part of the screenplay that we changed:
NOT DAVE
I'm not even called Dave man, my real names Kevin. People just grouped me in with them cuz I was a new student.
CUT TO:
INT. SCHOOL BUILDING - DAY
MONTAGE of NOT DAVE (Kevin) being called Dave and getting approached by other students.
--Kevin is sitting down on his phone as students come up to him and ask him if he's the new kid, Dave.
--While at his locker, students pass by him as they shout, "Hey Dave!".
--While at the urinal, another students takes the one next to him, looks towards Kevin and nonchalantly says "Hey Dave".
--While walking in the hallway, Kevin gets approached and hugged by another student who says "Hey Dave! Nice to meet you man!".
--Kevin then screams, "MY NAMES KEVIN!!".
MONTAGE END
Self Reflection:
I feel like through creating this screenplay I was able to further learn more about the proper way of formatting different elements of a media text, like a montage, and furthermore how to write something that is comedic, as previously I've only ever written screenplays that focus on serious plotlines, and never had any experience writing something that attempts to be funny/comedic. This experience definitely exposed me to writing different genres of texts, and allowed me to practice my writing skills and improve overall as well.
Storyboard Development:
Here we can see the storyboard of our documentary. This was made and drawn by Sharon.
This storyboard helped us in the process of creating the visual sense of what our documentary would look like from scene to scene. By using the screenplay, I helped describe to the storyboard artist (Sharon) what I had in mind for most of the shots. In the filming process however, we didn't really rely on what was drawn in the storyboard as we had developed new and different ideas for the scenes after the storyboard was created. Thus many of the shots were made solely by using what was written in the screenplay, with the visual elements of the scene being left in the hands of our Director (Timo).
Thumbnail Development:
These are some possible thumbnails for our documentary. They were drawn by Sharon, but in the end we decided on the final one together.
Again, as with our documentary name, to chose the thumbnail we had to consider the impression we want to make on our target audience and how they will think about the documentary as a whole. Some of our ideas like the name tag thumbnail (top left) show that the name "Dave' will play a big part in the documentary. The thumbnail on the middle left pays homage to a poster of the 1999 film "Fight Club", that had a similar style. This may have attracted fans of the movie to come and watch our documentary, but we decided that our target audiences may not understand the reference. Our final choice, the thumbnail in the top right, shows an image of all the members of the cast in a line against a monotonous background. This is meant to exemplify all their different personalities, with the title of the documentary "Dave(s)" in text above them all. This shows audiences that the name Dave is an important part of the story, but also that there are multiple people in the show with the same name, and that they all have different personalities due to the expressions and actions of the characters in the picture.